Sitting, Waiting For You
by Charred
Summary: Is it better to forget then to suffer emotional attack of your pass memories? Goku starts remembering his past memories (yes one of those). Angst. Yaoi, SanzoxGoku, GojyoxHakkai. First Saiyuki fanfic. Please give constructive critism!
1. Prologue: The Bliss of Innocence

Kenko: Even though I've been a Saiyuki fan for 3 years, this is my first Saiyuki fanfic. I finally got inspiration! (I think it was Saiyuki Reload 4 w/ Haagen-Dazs w/ System of a Down in the background) I hope you like it!

Declaimer: If I owned Saiyuki, the Saiyuki would be put in the yaoi category.

Warning: There will be Yaoi couples. SanzoxGoku and HakkaixGojyo.

Sitting, Waitiing On You

Prologue: The Bliss of Innocence

Once again the Sanzo-tachi was encircled by a band of youkai that boasted that they were going to blow their heads off and bring their bodies to Kougaji-sama as a gift. The only way out for them was to fight or jump off the cliff behind them. This scene was nothing usual for the Sanzo-tachi. It was expected that they get attacked everyday. For them, a day just doesn't feel complete without someone attacking them.

Hakkai was blowing the youkai into tiny bits. Sanzo was firing away with his gun. Gojyo is slicing them left and right and Goku is pounding their opponents to the ground. They are gaining the upper hand and the battalion of youkai is easily getting destroyed. The general of the youkai looked helplessly as the Sanzo-tachi wiped the floor with his soldiers.

The General was going to called the survivors to retreat when Dr. Nii showed up. Dr. Nii told the general that he had something up his sleeve and told him let his people fight a little longer. The general kept his people in the fight while Dr. Nii started to figit with this gaget that he had.

The next thing the Sanzo-tachi knew, there was a loud explosion and the floor underneath them started to give way. Gojyo fought off the last of his attacker and jumped to safety as did Hakkai and Sanzo. Goku was not so lucky and he fell down as the cliff broke away under his feet.

Goku was not aware that he was falling until he felt the wind whooshing in his ears. His world became upsidedown as he did a verticle dive down. He heard the faint screaming of his name in the background of the wind screaming in his ears as he fell. He saw that he was approaching the ground and yet, he did not feel particular fear.

When people have a life or death situation, they often say that they see their life flashing before their eyes. For Goku, however, there seems to be a great void. Instead of seeing flashes of memories, Goku only saw blackness, like he was falling through a dark tunnel.

When Goku was still imprision on the mountain, Goku have thought that it would be better if he died. After all, the person he was waiting for never came for him, even though he has been sitting, waiting on him. No matter how much he waited, he never came. No matter how much he wanted to remember, he could never remember who he was waiting for. No matter how much cried, no one ever heard his anguished cries.

Except Sanzo.

Sanzo came and got him out of that horrible cave. Sanzo gave him a room and food. Sanzo took him in even though he was a pain in the ass. Goku's memories with Sanzo started pouring in like a flash flood. Once again, he was reminded why wanted to live.

With that a pair of soft, white hands reached out to Goku and caught him.


	2. Shattered

After reading Aestheticism's translation of Saiyuki Gaiden chapter I got my inspiration back! Kinda, well something seems off. Pooeeee

Declaimer: I don't own Wild Adapter. I've repeated this so much I can't find anything witty to say.

Sitting Waiting on You

By Charred

Shattered

It's cold in here. Where am I? Goku thought while he gained consciousness. He was lying on his back, apparently not hurt. He started up looking at his environment for the first time. Waving his hand in front of his face, he could barely make out the image of his own hand. Finding nothing he could recognize, he got off his ass and started walking around, hoping to get out of this eerie landscape. After walking for a couple of minutes, he heard a set of footsteps following him. He looked over his shoulder and saw nothing. Goku continued walking, even though he still heard the sound of footsteps. He turned around abruptly to confront his stalker. His eyes widened in surprise.

"Do you know where Konzen is? I can't find him," the younger version of Goku said. Goku was only able to gape at the image in front of him. What is this place, he thought. The younger Goku only tilted his head and gave him a confused look.

"Oniichan? Are you okay?" the younger Goku said, waving his hand to get his attention "I just picked these flowers for his office and I want to give it to him." Goku notice the flowers in the child's hand for the first time.

"I must be hallucinating. I must have banged my head too much during the fight." Goku closed his eyes and willed the other Goku to go away. I wave of panic came over him. Where is everybody?

"Do you really want him to go away?" another voice said. Goku opened his eyes to see the other Goku moving farther and farther way. Goku tensed up as he looked everywhere for the where that voice came from.

"Who's there? Show yourself!" His day seems to get stranger and stranger. First a mirage of himself, now a voice with no body.

"As you wish." A figured appeared next to Goku. He was a young boy. He had his hair in a bun. His golden eyes were full of sorrow and looked way too old for his age. He was dressed in ropes with gold trimmings with white boots. On his forehead, there was purple diamond shaped marking. He looked so familiar to Goku.

"I know you from somewhere." Goku said, searching his mind.

"You will remember me, eventually." He said with a sad smile. "You haven't answered my question. Do you really want him to go away?"

"What? I just want to get out of here!" Goku said with a puzzled look. Nataku sighed in exasperation.

"That" pointing to the younger Goku, "Is you memories prior to your imprisonment in Five Finger Mountain. Do you want them back?"

Goku looked in surprise. He never really thought about it. He was happy where he was. His life before meeting Sanzo couldn't have been that great considering how he was chained and locked in a cell. Looking back to the younger Goku, he thought, "How long can I run away from my past?"

"Goku, a person cannot grow if he never confronts his memories." Nataku said, putting his hand on Goku's shoulder. Goku was torn. Ignorance is bliss. But he will never be strong if he continues to hide from his memories. And Goku has to be stronger.

"Also Goku, you will never be able to control, the real you if you don't confront your memories." Nataku said.

"The real me?" Goku said.

"Seiten Taisei Son Goku." As the name was spoken, the youkai form of Goku materialized. His eyes are blank and animalistic. Goku stepped back a little. "He is a part of you, no matter how you look at it. He only comes out when you withdraw yourself from reality, when you are in distress, to protect you from reality."

"You do not need to hide from reality anymore." Nataku continued. "Because you have something you want to protect."

The image of Sanzo popped in his mind. It would be so easy to keep living the life he had, but he'll never grow as a person. Goku looked between Nataku, the younger Goku, and Seitei Taisei. He took a deep breath and stretched out his hands towards the younger Goku and Seitei Taisei.

"I don't want them to go away" with a determined look on his face. Nataku smiled. The younger Goku and Seitei Taisei started moving towards Goku. When all three forms touched, Goku was hurled out of the darkness and into a white light.

Goku opened his eyes. The images before him were blurry. He was able to make out a face framed with blonde hair and frown that was etched permanently on his face.

"Konzen?" The blonde's frown deepened. "What?"

"Goku?" Goku turned towards the sound of another voice and saw a brunette hovering over him.

"Ten-chan?" The brunette's eyebrows scrunch together in worry.

"Oye, baka-saru. Did you bust that head of yours that much?" as a red head popped into view.

"Ken-chan?" The redhead started waving in front of his face. "Do I look like a Ken-chan to you?"

Goku was about to reply when he felt sharp pains shooting throughout his body. His body arched in pain and it started trashing about.

"Oye, bakasaru, what's the problem?" Gojyo asked, his face scrunched up in worry.

Goku was unable to reply as he started clutching the side of his head. Hakkai looked alarmed. Goku felt like something was breaking in his mind. Briefly he felt someone say, "Thank you, Goku" and the next thing he knew, his diadem broke.

Goku barely registered the universal gasp that emanated from his three companions. His body started to change. His hair started growing out. His nails elongated. Goku continued to thrash around until Hakkai, Sanzo, and Gojyo threw themselves on Goku to prevent him from moving. Sanzo started to chant and his sutra started to surround Goku. He placed his hand on Goku's forehead. A golden light surrounded Goku.

When the light dimmed down, Goku almost reverted back to normal. His eyes were closed, as if in deep sleep. Sanzo, Gojyo, and Hakkai breathed a sign of relief. The telltale signs of a youkai, such as the pointy ears and sharp nails were gone, but his hair was down to waist. Also the diadem was different. This diadem was smaller and had a circular design instead of a square design.

"What happened?" Gojyo asked as he looked back and forth between Goku and Hakkai.

"I don't know." Hakkai replied. Sanzo remained silent as he stared at Goku's still form. He noticed that Goku began to stir. His eyes began to move. The next thing he knew, Goku bolted up, breathing heavily, as if he was having a bad dream. Goku opened his eyes and all three of his companions gasped again.

Goku's hair wasn't the only thing that changed. Goku's pupils were cat-like and seemed darker than usual. In replace of Goku's wide, trustful and innocence look was a haunted and sad gaze. Goku was clutching his chest, as if willing it to slow down. He finally looked up in his companions. Gojyo, Hakkai and Sanzo starred at him. He managed a weak greeting. He got up and walked out of the cave before his companions could say anything. Walking by a still stunned Sanzo, Gojyo realized that Goku must have shot up almost a feet. The edge of his frayed pant legs reached his knee instead of his ankle. Gojyo's eyebrow shot up. Sanzo's gaze followed Goku's form out of the cave.

Hakkai was the first to recover and said, "Looks like our Goku grew up."

To be continued…once finals are over. TT

I was looking at Salty Dog I, II, and III and I realized that whenever Seiten Taisei is depicted, his diadem is different…

I may revise this later…something seems wrong…


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